When I first came out on the dating scene, I didn’t really have a type of guy that I was really attracted to. I was looking to date…well anyone who would be my boyfriend.

Then I my tastes narrowed to penises. I would date pretty much anything as long as there was a penis involved.

Then I fell in love. All of a sudden I had a very specific type of boy that I deemed attractive.

What changed? Did I grow up and discover who I was and therefore what I wanted in someone else? This explains the type of  personalities that I now find intriguing, leading to intense conversations that replay my brain long after. However I can’t seem to understand why I crush on the same looking type of guys. “My type” is now a very specific formula that I have right down to height, weight, facial structure, hair and style of dress.

However this isn’t an uncommon practice. I can pretty much pick out my sisters types from a room full of people without hesitation. I’m sure you’re thinking in your head right now what your type is. We all seem to do it. But why?

After much consideration, thought and discussion I have come to a hypothesis I feel confident in: we are chasing after the idea of something else. Stick with me here. Maybe you fell in love and when it didn’t work out, you continue to chase after that same type looking for that love. Maybe you fell in for a movie character that you now classify as your type. Men often chase after someone in the image their mothers. Whatever it is, you got your own idea of “attractive” lodged so deeply in your brain that you didn’t even realize it, but it’s there to stay.

This isn’t to say that once and awhile we venture out from our usual types, but we always address that thought at one point or another saying something like, ‘oh you are so not my type but it works for us!’.

I am comfortable with the fact that I chase after boys that look like my love, in fact I laugh about it all the time. Now the question remaining is…can you pin point why your type is in fact your type?